The Beginning of the Armadillos

This, my dear, is another story of the far-off days. In the very middle of those days lived a Prickly Hedgehog, who dwelt on the banks of the great brown river, eating shelly snails and things. And he had a friend, a Slow-and-Solid Tortoise, who lived on the banks of the great brown river too, eating green lettuces and things. And so that was all right, my dear.

But also, in those far-off days, there lived a Painted Jaguar, who lived on the banks of the great brown river too; and he ate everything he could catch. When he could not catch deer or monkeys, he ate frogs and beetles; and when he could not catch frogs and beetles, he went to his Mother Jaguar, and she told him how to eat hedgehogs and tortoises.

She said to him, ever so many times, graciously waving her tail, 'My son, when you find a Hedgehog you must drop him into the water and then he will uncoil, and when you catch a Tortoise you must scoop him out of his shell with your paw.'

One beautiful moonlit night on the banks of the great brown river, the Painted Jaguar found the Prickly Hedgehog and the Slow-and-Solid Tortoise sitting under the trunk of a fallen tree. They could not run away, so Hedgehog curled himself up into a ball, because he was a Hedgehog, and Tortoise drew his head and feet into his shell as far as they would go, because he was a Tortoise.

'Now attend to me,' said the Painted Jaguar, 'because this is very important. My mother said that when I meet a Hedgehog I am to drop him into the water and then he will uncoil, and when I meet a Tortoise I am to scoop him out of his shell with my paw. Now which of you is Hedgehog and which is Tortoise? Because, to save my spots, I can't tell.'

'Are you sure of what your Mummy told you?' said Hedgehog. 'Are you quite, quite sure? Perhaps she said that when you uncoil a Tortoise, you must shell him out of the water with a scoop, and when you paw a Hedgehog, you must drop him on the shell.'

'Are you sure of what your Mummy told you?' said Tortoise. 'Are you certain sure? Perhaps she said that when you water a Hedgehog you must drop him into your paw, and when you meet a Tortoise you must shell him till he uncoils.'

'I don't think it was at all like that,' said the Painted Jaguar, but he felt very puzzled indeed. 'Please, say it again more distinctly.'

'When you scoop water with your paw you uncoil it with a Hedgehog,' said Hedgehog. 'Remember that, because it's important.'

'But,' said Tortoise, 'when you paw your meat you drop it into a Tortoise with a scoop. Why can't you understand?'

'You are making my spots ache,' said the Painted Jaguar. 'I didn't want your advice at all. I only wanted to know which of you is Hedgehog and which is Tortoise!'

At last, in a fluster, the Jaguar darted his paw at Hedgehog, who rolled up neatly, so that Jaguar's paw was filled with prickles. Then he tried to grab Tortoise. But Tortoise, quick as a wink, slipped into the water and paddled away.

'Bother,' said the Painted Jaguar, sucking his prickled paw. 'That went badly.'

Now Hedgehog and Tortoise met later that night on a quiet bit of shore. 'Well,' said Hedgehog, 'that was too close for comfort. I wish I could swim like you.'

'And I wish I could roll up like you,' said Tortoise. 'It looked terribly useful.'

'Let us teach each other,' said Hedgehog. 'A little practice, and we shall be safe from all painted jaguars in the world.'

So they did. All that night and all the next day, Hedgehog kicked in the water while Tortoise held up his chin, and Tortoise bent his back-plates a little at a time while Hedgehog cheered him on. And a curious thing happened. Hedgehog's prickles began to flatten and lie smoother, like little scales. Tortoise's back-plates loosened, until he could very nearly curl up into a ball.

When the Painted Jaguar next met them, he stared and stared. 'You cannot be Hedgehog,' he said, 'because Hedgehog cannot swim. And you cannot be Tortoise, because Tortoise cannot curl up. What in the world are you?'

They didn't rightly know. So they went and asked the Painted Jaguar's mother.

She looked at them, and she looked at them again, and she waved her tail thoughtfully. 'A Hedgehog is a Hedgehog,' she said, 'and can be nothing else. A Tortoise is a Tortoise, and can be nothing else. So this must be a new creature altogether. I shall call it an Armadillo — and I strongly advise you, my son, to leave it well alone.'

So the Painted Jaguar did. And ever since that day, no one on the banks of the great brown river has ever called Hedgehog-Tortoise anything but Armadillo. There are still hedgehogs elsewhere, and there are still tortoises. But the very cleverest kind, the kind who taught each other new tricks and became something quite different, are always called Armadillos, because they were so wonderfully clever.

(Freely retold for bedtime from Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories, 1902.)